Spanking – Discipline or Abuse?

I remember being spanked 2 times – there may have been more, but this is what I remember.

The first time was when I was about 5 years old. The neighbourhood of parents brought me to our front door and told my mother of my inappropriate behaviour in the courtyard park. I and a friend had been pulling our pants down – not doing anything – in a mooning sort of way. I don’t remember the actual moment anymore, and I don’t remember the after. But what I do know, is I never ever did anything like that again.

The second time I was around 6 years old. My mother must have been having a really hard day or week or something. I was sleeping in her bed that night – I did this often until I was 12 years old. My mom was ready to sleep and I possibly wasn’t. She was getting mad because I was wiggling none stop and she repeatedly asked me to stop. When I didn’t, she snapped! She went and got a wooden spoon and spanked me with it – the spoon snapped in half!

Parenting is difficult.

Just being can be difficult sometimes!

We live in a society where there is too much open information and too many outlets for opinions. People tend to see only what they want to see, and in theory, whacking your 6 your old on the behind with a wooden spoon because she was moving too much – by itself sounds a lot like child abuse. It sounds a lot like those psychological theories on how damaging spanking can be both mentally as well as to the bond and relationship between a parent and their child.

So how is it not?

Because of what came next.

As soon as that spoon connected and broke, my mother broke too. She immediately broke down sobbing,  clutching me in her arms while I laughed at the situation – and as she cried, we laughed together.

Most people feel bad when they knowingly do something unkind.

I’m not saying what she did was right, but it’s not important what she did – What matters is what she did after she did what she did.